In visiting with a friend recently the statement was made that one of our acquaintances had called her sister a "Helicopter Mom". She said that her sister was always hovering over her children. In further thought about the subject I felt that we as Mom's are conductors of flight all of our lives in all of our duties with our children. Yes, when they are young we must be helicpoter Mom's. It is of necessity that we hover over them to some extent to care for them, to teach them, and to look after their safety. We must be there to pilot them.
The second stage comes as they grow into their teenage years. We need to back off a little and change our methods and carrier to be more like the "Commercial Mom". We need to let them board the commercial flight and spend the time they need with us to get where they are going, and to bring them home safely. They board with their friends and are many times more influenced by them than they are by us. We can keep them in our radar, but we don't need to keep them in our visual path at all times and hover over them. We become commercial pilots. They become more independent.
The third stage comes when they are completely on their own. When they complete their education and/or marry and are their sole caretakers. It is important that we let them do their own flying. We can graduate to become a "Jet Mom". We can do fly bys and occasional stop overs, but we must let them live their own lives. Most of the time I fear we spend in the hanger waiting for an apportunity to fly.
This was a hard concept for me to learn. We had our family over a lengthy time period. Our oldest was 17 when we had our last baby. So we had someone to hover over for many years. Even now it is hard to get out of that mode. I know we should be in the jet stage, but every now and then I just want to hold my children and grandchildren close and hover for a few hours.
Heavenly Father has made a strange plan. Of course, it is perfect when we analyze it. We are continually going through different phases of our lives and we must continue to learn and grow and prepare to meet the next challenge of this life as we work towards returning to live with him. We must allow our children the same privilege.
When I was a young mother and was so busy with the daily chores of keeping up with my children and keeping the meals on the table, the washing done, the house clean, and the many tasks of supporting my husband in the work and doing some of my own in the church and community. I looked forward to the day when we could retire from all the busyness of work and family responsibilities. What was I thinking? Now I realize even more that those years were so precious. The precious times now are when we can get our family together for a few joyous hours. Even then we are always missing one or two because of other committments. It is almost impossible to have everyone in the same place at the same time even for a few wonderful moments together.
Most of you who receive this newsletter are young parents. You have the energy to be wonderful helicopter parents for your children. I hope and pray that as you hover you teach them the wonderful principles of the gospel so they can go on to live their lives in the same manner that you have...being productive, responsible and happy citizens as you prepare to return to our Heavenly Father. I wish you every blessing as you turn them over to lead their own lives and as you graduate to being "Commercial Mom 's" and then to "Jet Mom's".
While you are a "Helicopter Mom" be sure if possible to take them to visit Temple Square in Salt Lake City. Let them feel the spirit that is there. If you live in the Eastern US take them to the church historical sites. Wherever you live there is a temple now that is within visiting distance. Visit the temple grounds, feel the spirit that is there wherever these wonderful edifices are and talk of the importance of the temples. Let your children feel the peace and know that the temples are a perfect airport and technical base where they can come for flight instructions and reminders to keep their own charts and maps up to date. It is so important for our success with our flights and then when the final flight comes we can jet right home to our Heavenly Father. I pray for every blessing for you mothers of small children. Love them, love them, teach them, love them some more, and yes, hover for now. Love, Maurine Winters
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment